never felt this before….

A couple of days ago I was sitting in a rocking chair across from my mother-in-law, Debbi, discussing her recent surgery. My niece, Zoe, came over and snuggled in my lap as I chatted away. As I sat stroking her hair, engaged in a conversation across the room, my thoughts turned to my two little girls in Colombia. For the first time ever, I actually pictured myself snuggled up to one of them as their mother. A warm glow resonated in my bosom. It was a truly amazing feeling.

I have pictured traveling to Colombia, preparing the children’s bedrooms, even doing craft projects at the kitchen table when they are finally here. But I never allowed myself to picture the exchange of hugs, or kisses, or even tucking them in at bedtime. I could always picture what it would be like, but never picture how it would feel.

A friend recently assured me that having my girls crawl up into my lap and burrow themselves into a hug will be just as sweet as rocking a newborn….not the same, but something I would never want to trade. I am grateful for my friend’s ever intuitive wisdom. And I am thankful for small moments such as the one in the rocking chair. They sustain my hope as I patiently wait.


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