Fall is my most favorite time of year…sipping hot chocolate, crunching leaves beneath my feet, the feel of brisk air on my face. (I know, I live in Las Vegas–but a girl can live in her memory, right?) It is a truly glorious time of year, in my opinion. November, however, is difficult for me. This November is the third anniversary of my very first due date. In other words, it is the third “birthday” of our first miscarriage. I don’t really remember due dates and the like of other pregnancies. But the first one, I do. And, as both a good friend and sister have boys that turn three within a month of my first due date, I will always be reminded.
This November has been especially hard. Now, I’m not talking about the crying every day, not able to function, sinking into a black hole kind of hard. 🙂 It is just that last Thanksgiving weekend we conceived our fourth and most recent unborn baby. (kudos to Brianhead, UT–tmi, I know) It was a wonderfully relaxing weekend with friends–full of hot chocolate, fireplaces, and games–a favorite memory of ours. And since it is a favorite memory, I think of it often. So this November I not only thought of our first little guy, but also our fourth. What else happened this November? Umm, best friend #1 finally “announced” and started to “show” (for which I am very grateful–you know I am). Best friend #2 lost two more potential adoption referrals–reminding me once again how unfair this world really is. And, on the very day that I happened to unpack a box, which housed a few items that I actually saved from the nursery (a blessing blanket, little “I love daddy” booties, and a giraffe picture that I can’t seem to part with) I got a phone call from another friend with “the news.” Actually, Adam had to come home early and rescue my sanity after that one. I was in a puddle of tears with no end in sight.
Phew! I am really glad this November is over. I am so grateful for Danny, Ezzy, Nikki, and Wompy. They bring me much joy. I know I posted these pics on the family site, but I can’t resist their adorableness. And as Marisa’s daughter, Lainey, said–they really are starting to look like us, don’t you think?