november rain

2009

Fall is my most favorite time of year…sipping hot chocolate, crunching leaves beneath my feet, the feel of brisk air on my face. (I know, I live in Las Vegas–but a girl can live in her memory, right?) It is a truly glorious time of year, in my opinion. November, however, is difficult for me. This November is the third anniversary of my very first due date. In other words, it is the third “birthday” of our first miscarriage. I don’t really remember due dates and the like of other pregnancies. But the first one, I do. And, as both a good friend and sister have boys that turn three within a month of my first due date, I will always be reminded. 

This November has been especially hard. Now, I’m not talking about the crying every day, not able to function, sinking into a black hole kind of hard. 🙂 It is just that last Thanksgiving weekend we conceived our fourth and most recent unborn baby. (kudos to Brianhead, UT–tmi, I know) It was a wonderfully relaxing weekend with friends–full of hot chocolate, fireplaces, and games–a favorite memory of ours. And since it is a favorite memory, I think of it often. So this November I not only thought of our first little guy, but also our fourth. What else happened this November? Umm, best friend #1 finally “announced” and started to “show” (for which I am very grateful–you know I am). Best friend #2 lost two more potential adoption referrals–reminding me once again how unfair this world really is. And, on the very day that I happened to unpack a box, which housed a few items that I actually saved from the nursery (a blessing blanket, little “I love daddy” booties, and a giraffe picture that I can’t seem to part with) I got a phone call from another friend with “the news.” Actually, Adam had to come home early and rescue my sanity after that one. I was in a puddle of tears with no end in sight.

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Phew! I am really glad this November is over. I am so grateful for Danny, Ezzy, Nikki, and Wompy. They bring me much joy. I know I posted these pics on the family site, but I can’t resist their adorableness. And as Marisa’s daughter, Lainey, said–they really are starting to look like us, don’t you think?

20062012

4 comments

  1. I’ve thought about the Brian Head anniversary as well. Things have changed so very much in one year but we certainly continue to carry memories and moments with us. Thank heavens for the four McCrackens. They don’t make things perfect – sometimes they complicate life a bit – but they sure make so much worthwhile. Thank you for sharing!

  2. Oh, I’m glad November is over too. It is good to remember, even if it is hard. I love you. But hey, you did forget that your girls came to see you and scrap in November (which you have yet to post)!

  3. November Rain… That’s all I can think of right now! When it rains it pours doesn’t it?! I love you sister and am so grateful for the better understanding I have of your griefs and sorrow’s since having the great opportunity to share my home with you for a year! I miss you and am so sorry for all the sorrow you felt this past month! But yeah for best friends, right!!!

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