Journal #3–The Changes I Envision

There are oh so many changes I envision. I daydream about them all the time. Going from no children to four children is mind-boggling to say the least. Here are the questions I most frequently think about:

  1. How will I grocery shop?
  2. What kind of large vehicle will work best?

  3. Do I home school, private school, or public school them—which would be better for language acquisition, self-esteem, and overall adjustment?
  4. What if they don’t attach to one or both of us?
  5. How will I adjust to staying home all day: making lunches, helping with homework, playing chauffer, etc?

  6. What if I’m not good enough?

  7. How do I develop my children spiritually?

  8. Will my husband love me the same?

Let’s be honest, this is not going to be easy. But I live by one mantra, one that I impose upon my students every year: “For everything of value, there is always a price to pay.” If it was hard, it wouldn’t be worth it. I look forward to all the worries on the list. I mostly look forward to having the worries, I know that sounds odd, but anyone who wants desperately to be a parent understands it. I also look forward to problem-solving the worries with my husband.

I do think about how our lives as a couple will change because we know it will. But I don’t think that has to mean we’ll have less time for each other. We just have to work on a schedule that benefits our entire family. The greatest asset Adam and I bring to this adoption is our strength and flexibility as a couple. Even in our darkest hours of fertility, we could laugh through the tears and figure out what to do next. I’ve never once felt paralyzed by our heart-wrenching challenges. That’s how I know For Sure that this is going to work out, and be wonderful.

1 comment

  1. I love reading your thoughts about this journey you are headed on. I am inspired by your willingness and excitment to take on something so much bigger than yourself. You will be great parents! Love you guys.

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