Papi and I just got off the phone with Senor Raul. He is one of the people at Commonwealth Adoptions that is helping us bring you home. Raul says that you and your siblings are very excited to be adopted. He also says that you, in particular, are very anxious and nervous about all the unknowns, especially about traveling so far away from everything familiar. I hear that you have taken on the role of protector, which is to be expected. What a valiant and brave little boy you are.

Life sure isn’t fair, is it? It’s not fair that your birth-parents made poor choices that affected you. It’s not fair that you have been charged with caring for and parenting Esmeralda, Daniela, and Juan Pablo. It’s not fair that you, at seven years old, feel the weight of the world upon your little shoulders. For these reasons I think you are extra special. When I look at your picture I see goodness and warmth in your eyes. I see hope and kindness. You are the very best big brother. I can’t wait to meet you.

As I sit in sadness thinking about the rough start you’ve had, I also sit in hope. My hope for you is that ONE short month from now you can start on the road back to boyhood. I can’t wait for you to care about soccer balls, dirt, and pizza–and nothing else! I know we’ll encounter meltdowns along the way. I can’t wait to love you through them as you slowly relinquish your role of parent and return back to that of big brother. I especially can’t wait for you to meet Papi. He is so cool. He is itching to get on the plane so he can play, play, and play some more. You are so lucky that he will soon enter your life.

And, by the way, I can’t wait to be a soccer mom. I never thought I would hear myself say such a thing, but your smile makes me ready. Of course, you might have to remind me one day that I said that. 🙂 I want you to be my son, Daniel. I have no doubt that I was led to you. I sure wish that your life was perfect from birth, even if that meant that I didn’t get to be your mother because your overall health and happiness is paramount to me. Unfortunately, that is not what occurred. Poor choices were made and sadness happened. Luckily, we will both eventually benefit from it.

Anyway we square it, life isn’t fair! And on a day like today, I am grateful!




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