Yesterday, Adam and I attended an “adoption education” lecture in Layton, which meant a 1.5 hour drive each way plus 3 hours of lecture time. Needless to say, it was a full day of sitting. I knew I would be uncomfortable, bloated, and running to the bathroom. Plus, I wasn’t really sure I wanted to jump back into adoption prep for a couple of weeks. Against my better judgment I joined my husband for the day. I figured if I was going to be miserable, I’d like to be miserable next to him!!! Plus, I had that pesky feeling that I should just go.
I am sooooooooo glad I went. As I sat and listened, it felt as though I was home….like I hadn’t missed a beat or been away. It felt natural. It felt good. It felt right. I walked out of the seminar feeling invigorated about what we are doing. I know this is something we’re supposed to do. The best part is that I’m excited about it, even through the miscarriage. And I’m not sure I would be if I hadn’t followed my instincts yesterday. Adam, most likely would’ve found me drowning my sorrows in a gallon of sinfully chocolatey ice creamy goodness. The entire experience made the figurative and literal pain of the miscarriage pale in comparison to the hope we have of a future family.
Don’t worry–we’re still human. We had our Cryfest tonight, together. I knew it would come sooner or later. It’s part of the beautiful mourning process. I’m just glad that this time it was sooner than later. We are so grateful to have each other. I am especially grateful for the sensitivity and thoughtfulness of my wonderful husband.