what if

I wanted to try and have another baby. I mean, is that really so bad? Shutting the door makes so much sense. For so many reasons. And yet, I can’t stop thinking about it. All. The. Time.

the weight of the wait

I am currently waiting. Waiting to miscarry our last hope for another baby. These are the worst kinds of wait. I have experienced them before. The wait for something horrible to happen that one knows is coming, over which you have absolutely no control. But this time, with this wait, there is an extra heaving… Continue reading the weight of the wait

29 weeks and all is (kind of not) well

I cannot believe we have made it this far. Feeling the baby move inside of me, and seeing her move on the gazillion ultrasounds I have had is more than Adam or I ever hoped for when we started fertility treatments last summer. No matter how the next 10 weeks play out, we feel truly… Continue reading 29 weeks and all is (kind of not) well

baby hope….in more than one way

8dpt= 53 14dpt=536 Our numbers are more than doubling… Doc thinks it’s one. So do I. Ultrasound= 8 March (Friday)…at seven weeks. —————————————- In other news. We’re meeting a sibling group of three little girls today. They are legally free for adoption, and have kind of fallen into our laps. We know there is one… Continue reading baby hope….in more than one way

here we go

off to the clinic. embryos three and four better be the ones….cause my butt is already protruding with nasty oil welts. Yes, I am permanently attached this go around to the heating pad. It is quite comical. I hate progesterone! 🙂 I am anxious to hear how the thaw went, and how many baby blasts… Continue reading here we go

the final step…egg transfer

August 31st 2012….the day we had two little embryos implanted! Unlike egg retrieval, this procedure is relatively short and painless. Of course, I do use the word relative because I did have an ice cold speculum (yes, they ice it first) inserted so that a catheter could be inserted up into my uterus. That is… Continue reading the final step…egg transfer

that darn root…jealousy

It happened today.  I have been waiting for this moment, and it finally arrived. You know, that feeling of utter helplessness, as if time has stopped right in front of you while the world around you keeps swirling and twirling? And no matter how hard you try you cannot make it stop? I thought I might not feel… Continue reading that darn root…jealousy

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