So I was standing at the kitchen counter last night staring…staring…staring. Yes, staring at the packet of birth control pills wondering what the heck I was supposed to do with it. Seriously! Luckily, I have a sister or two very familiar with birth control. Being the fertile Mertyls that they are, they helped me match up the sticker strip to the pill package. And voila, I am a birth control virgin no longer.

That’s kind of weird. Okay, a lot weird. But weirder still is that I found myself in a random blood lab in Yakima doing a time sensitive blood draw so that Dr. Fisch, at SIRM, can create my IVF protocol. It was déjà vu to me because I have been in multiple states in multiple blood labs doing multiple blood draws over the years. Adam and I always seemed to be traveling when I would miscarry or need to have a test ran.

But that was a lifetime ago. We haven’t been pregnant since 2010, and we stopped pursuing fertility options when we started adopting in 2007. I feel like a fish out of water. But if we don’t do it now…

Being 36, I qualify for the ‘under 38’ plan. Isn’t that great? *eyes rolling* That means a gracious $3000 is knocked off the top. But we all know how expensive IVF can be, and you better believe I am keeping an excel sheet to share when it is all said and done. We won’t know our true cost until we find out what drug protocol I’ll be on.

Are we hopeful? A little.

Do we feel like we’ll get a baby? Not really.

Do we want to know so we can move on? YES!

And when sweet Annie crawls in bed with me after Gaven went away and said, “mommy, I want another baby…but one that doesn’t go away, please” we feel like we have to try. It’s now or never!

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