After all this time? With all the children who need homes, why are we going back to square one? Why are we spending money on a procedure that we shunned six years ago; a procedure that only has a 40% success rate?
The answer is simple: a baby! It has nothing to do with DNA or wanting the pregnancy experience or thinking this will fill some hole that’s missing? Two or three years ago that might have been the case. But today, after all we’ve been through and all we’ve felt, it’s simply about bringing a baby into our home for our whole family to enjoy.
With seven adopted children, a healthy infant is all but out of reach for our family. Yes, we could take multiple placements out of foster care and eventually end up with an adoption. But that could take years. And how many “Gavens” will I have to give back? We’re not opposed to continuing down that path, also. In fact, we see ourselves still doing one more sibling group adoption regardless of our fertility outcome. But all of the children REALLY want me to have a baby. So we’ll see what happens.
I’m so grateful to be in a place, emotionally, that I can try it and not be crazy fertility girl like a decade ago. And I like this “me” so much more. But also, I am 36, and it’s now or never. 🙂 We’ll see what happens. We are shooting for transfers in August, but first we have to get the testing and protocol squared away. My biggest fear is th quality of my eggs. Can I even make a viable embryo. Stay tuned for the answer.
I don’t know if I’ve ever told you how much I admire you guys and your wonderfully huge hearts. Good luck on this next endeavor, I’ll be crossing my paws for you!
Confession: I blogstalk you often and think of you and your sweet family a lot. I keep waiting to see a fb status saying you are pregnant or getting a baby. I don’t know why, but I feel like you will get a baby, one way or another. You have what it takes to endure these treatments, emotions, etc. You are strong, brave, smart, kind, beautiful and a wonderful example of the kind of person/mom I hope to be. I cried when I read about your sweet baby Gaven being taken from you. I hope that you don’t have to experience that heartache again. Sending lots of good vibes and prayers in your direction and to you darling family.
Here we go! Another adventure. You know I’m praying for you guys.