So I was standing at the kitchen counter last night staring…staring…staring. Yes, staring at the packet of birth control pills wondering what the heck I was supposed to do with it. Seriously! Luckily, I have a sister or two very familiar with birth control. Being the fertile Mertyls that they are, they helped me match… Continue reading ivf…yes, we are.
Category: fertility
refinement in progress
When Adam and I found ourselves traveling the topsy-turvy path of infertility, I quickly required myself to walk the path with grace. The infertile road is not for the faint of heart. If you are not watchful, it can quite literally swallow you whole. The infertile pathway, though, holds a giant opportunity for exquisite refinement.… Continue reading refinement in progress
elephant in the room
I am a happy mom, which means a great emotional current has awoken inside of my body these past two years. I am visibly more emotional because my children’s happiness brings me insane amounts of joy. I am still getting used to having swells of positive emotion overtake my body, but it is a wonderful… Continue reading elephant in the room
the proverbial they
“We decided to go with someone else.” is the dreaded phrase adoptive moms fear to hear (something bio moms never worry about). Adoptive Parent Translations: ‘You are not good enough for my baby.’ ‘You have too many children already, you don’t need another.’ ‘You are not exactly what we were looking for.’ WHAT?!? However you slice… Continue reading the proverbial they
molecular moments
We have a large family portrait that hangs in our living room. I love it so much. It is a beautiful reminder to me of the struggles and decisions Adam and I have participated in over the past five years on our path to create a family. Every time I walk by it, I smile.… Continue reading molecular moments
flashes of infertility
Two Christmases ago we were in Washington when I found out that I was pregnant, again. It ended up being my most painful and prolonged miscarriage for many reasons. A truly horrible experience. Heck, I am still paying it off because we were uninsured for a brief time. Flashing forward to this Christmas…we headed back… Continue reading flashes of infertility
a year of healing
It’s November. Those closest to me know what that means. I think it is getting easier. I really do. I was a bit weepy the first week of the month, but then nothing. I don’t think about our first lost baby as much as I used to. I knew the ninos would slowly and eventually… Continue reading a year of healing
to stand or not to stand
Adam thought I was acting weird when I rolled over Saturday night and told him I was not going to stand up at church on Sunday. He also took that to mean that we were not ever going to have a happy carefree Mother’s Day. I explained to him that my stand for injustice did not mean that… Continue reading to stand or not to stand
that darn root…jealousy
It happened today. I have been waiting for this moment, and it finally arrived. You know, that feeling of utter helplessness, as if time has stopped right in front of you while the world around you keeps swirling and twirling? And no matter how hard you try you cannot make it stop? I thought I might not feel… Continue reading that darn root…jealousy
hitting my stride
The one year mark must be approaching. I feel so good about mothering these days. Even on a morning like this morning–Ezzy is crying in her room, Juan P. is cleaning up his drenched pull-ups and pajamas, and Danny is pranking his sisters at the breakfast table–I feel great! As the effects of survival mode slowly wear off, I find… Continue reading hitting my stride